Bittersweet Sundaes



I am absolutely certain that the past two days were sent to test me. In all honesty, I would rather compete on Ninja Warrior UK in my plus size state than have a repeat performance of the previous forty-eight hours. I'm absolutely cream crackered. The kids are in bed having an early night as a punishment for 'bad' behaviour and I'm sat shovelling the household supply of chocolate into my mouth and justifying it as my 'Tea'. The husband made a cameo appearance after work before pissing off to band practice leaving me to contend with the brewing shit storm.

After a really lovely day with all three of my children on Tuesday, it took a turn for the worse on Wednesday. My ten-year-old daughter often pay's the price for being the eldest of the three siblings. She compromises on more things than I wish she had to and helps me out with the baby so much without complaint. She really is my wing-woman, hopefully, one day when she's older she will realise how much I appreciated it. So, Wednesday, at her request we decided to make a special trip to Sundaes gelato which is the most delicious ice cream dessert cafe in the city centre. It really is a treat to behold. Louis didn't want to go, no surprise there. Louis is 6 years old, almost 7 and very recently he began his 'official' Autism journey. I say 'official' as we've struggled along for a long time now, slogging a dead horse every time we wanted to leave the house, but, two weeks ago we were assessed by professionals and another part of our journey began. I'll give that its very own blog post at some point I'm sure.
I managed to talk him round and prep him for our trip out and off we went, complete with a face like a smacked arse!

If you're a chocolate scoffer, sorry lover, like me then you will absolutely adore this place. You can choose from crepes, sundaes, giant waffles, cookie dough, brownie dough and more ice cream flavours than you dare to dream of. There's an array of toppings to choose from and if you can think it they can make it, or attempt to anyway. It's the nearest thing to a child's view of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, right there in front of them. My daughter loves it, my one-year-old has spotted the marshmallows so she loves it. There's nothing on the menu my boy likes. Great. He want's the plastic kinder egg at the side of the kinder egg flavour ice cream, the kinder egg that's not for sale.
After a bit of a meltdown, because he then wants a toasted teacake (in a flamin' desserts cafe full of sweets & chocolates!), he then proceeds to make intermittent screeching noises for the whole cafe to hear which embarrasses his poor sister and completely confuses the poor baby who isn't exactly sure what's going on anyway. She claps for good measure. Losing the will to live I manage to negotiate a truce by offering to buy him just the flakes from the ice cream with the specified terms of the agreement being that they come in a tub, and, he wants 30! I verbally agree just to keep the peace while I go 5 yards from the table, secure the baby in the high chair and try to place our order. I've not even opened my mouth when all three of them start screaming. My eldest is screaming "Mum!". The baby is screaming because her brother has his coat smothered around her head and won't let go. My son is screaming because the said baby is screaming because he's putting the said coat around her chuffin head! - no shit Sherlock.

Give me strength, or valium.

I quickly remove the coat from the babies head and diffuse the attempted suffocation. Confiscating his coat I attempt my order again. The server
ask's me what I want. I silently laugh in my head as I think about what I would really like at this moment in time. I consider asking for a double vodka and some diazepam but I don't, I just order his flakes. The soddin flakes are 50p each! 50P for an ice cream sized flake, that's half the price of an entire Mr Whippy or more than half the price of a whole '99! A'99 that cost £1.50 but don't get me started on that. The few brain cells that remain inside my head begin to work and I realise that that would be £15 on a tub of bloody flakes. I seriously consider the purchase of £15 worth of flakes. "I'll take 5 please.", I say as I clench my fists, let out a resigned sigh and brace myself for the tornado tantrum that's about to commence. Distracted by the reduced number of flakes I fail to notice that the flakes are served on a small saucer and not in a tub - like he had last time. So help me God.
On the plus side, the saucer has distracted him from the fact that he's 25 flakes down, but he's extremely upset by the offending plate. Everyones looking at us, we've caused chaos since we arrived, we've probably ruined everyone's dining experience and the staff can't wait to usher us out of the door but for the sake of my big girl, I'm going to try and enjoy my waffle. It does look gorgeous, and it tastes divine but I'm not sat on my arse long enough to look at it never mind eat it. We eat as quickly as we can and we go home, just like Louis wants. It's easier that way.


There was a time when I would take the children anywhere. We used to love spontaneously packing a bag and bobbing off for a surprise weekend on the cheap or packing up the car and randomly driving down to London for a few days away. Over the years its become increasingly more difficult with Louis and although we can go places it really isn't worth it some days. On his worst day's he can spend the entire day counting to 60 over and over until he's reached the number of minutes or hours you'd said you'd be out, never missing a second. I can roll my eyes as I tell this tale but I assure you its no fun at the time. I also think it can't be fun for him either. His brain must be working overtime, never able to switch off or rest. I recall the day as being ruined by Louis but it isn't Louis, its Autism. It robs him of the ability to enjoy, to be involved and to relax. I regularly complain about lack of sleep as our son wakes at random intervals through the night with various ideas for entertainment. My favourite recently was when he burst into our bedroom, stood in his underpants with multicoloured LED lights on his fingers, dancing out the beats to a tune fit for a rave. It was 4am. I honestly thought I'd been on the wacky-backy when I sat bolt upright and saw the flashing lights. The poor baby was woken in her cot and must have wondered what the bloody hell was going on. I think she's getting used to these random outbursts now, on his last visit she merely lifted her head, saw it was him again and went back to sleep.

It's very early days on our Autism journey but I'm trying to understand my boy. I'm trying for all our sakes to work out what works for him, and what doesn't. We do seem to run on an unwritten rule of if Louis' happy then we're all happy, and if he's not, well, brace yourselves. The way I cope with his behaviour alters dependent on my own mood too. There's day's when I can give him all the time and patience in the world but then there are also days when I'm absolutely exhausted, like today, the babies poorly with a temperature and the ten-year-old is sick and tired of her brother ruling the roost and has chosen my bad day to cry out for attention. It's bloody hard work! Or, as my husband say's, "It's Thursday, you always get stressed and have enough by Thursday!". Cheers arsehole.

So that's today's post. Not what I intended to write this evening, but its, raw, it's honest and it's from the heart. If nothing else, writing this has been a hell of a lot cheaper than paying for a therapist. I hope there's someone out there that can relate and sympathize.

Tomorrow is another day.


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18 comments:

  1. Amy, some days with kids are just hard. And some are off the charts! Your "I'm sat shovelling the household supply of chocolate into my mouth and justifying it as my 'Tea'" made me laugh, but I wanted to butt in a bit and tell you how to stop the cravings. Though I'm a food blogger and do a lot of baking, I never eat more than 6 teaspoons of sugar in a day. In an ideal world I would quit sugar altogether, but that isn't going to happen - it's just not realistic, not something I could maintain for the rest of my life. But I've been doing this for a couple years and have zero cravings. If you're interested, you can read about in a blog post I did in September 2016, Sugar - Toxin or Treat? Hope the gets well soon!

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    1. Thanks for this, its definitely interesting to know. I really wish I didn't crave sugary snacks, I'm also not sure if its actually a habit more than anything! I definitely eat more when I'm stressed. Thanks for reading x

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  2. Love your honest writing, sounds like it was such a tough day. I hope it gets easier for you as this journey progresses and you get the support you need #KCACOLS

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    1. Thank you and yes i hope so. Fingers crossed x

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  3. Oh poor you. I feel your pain. It is already hard with kids and with Autism is just completely something different for me. I don't even know where to start. I think you've handled it really well on your own. I hope you'll get the support you needed through this journey. Big hugs xxx

    Thank you very much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost

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  4. I had a crappy week last week too. Those waffles do look amazing. Sarah #FabFridayPost

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    1. Ahh sorry you had a bad weak last week too, it's pants isn't it. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. Here's to a better week, fingers crossed! x

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  5. Sorry to hear you had a crappy week, I can't imagine how stressful it is to go out. I too am partial to shovelling all the chocolate into my mouth and calling it tea! Thanks so much for linking to #KCACOLS. Hope you can come back again next time

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    1. Thank you, can't wait for the next linky!

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  6. Oh you poor thing. I can picture the whole wretched situation unfolding before my eyes. It must be so difficult for all of you. I hope that, with the diagnosis in place, you can start to find some strategies that work for you all. #blogcrush

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    1. Thank you, and thanks for taking the time to read :-)

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  7. Sounds like a really tough day but I'm glad you stuck it out and managed to at least get a waffle out of it. It's amazing how much a bit of chocolate can help! #KCACOLS

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    1. They waffle helped very much so :-) Thanks for reading x

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  8. Oh my... Great read, thank you! Love the 'Cheers arsehole', as I so recognise that feeling! x #KCACOLS

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    1. Hahaha, they do have what I call 'Arsehole moments' every so often don't they!! Thanks for reading!!

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  9. Oh no, I am so sorry to hear that you had a bad week. I guess we all have bad weeks but I cannot imagine how they can be with one of your kids having Autism. It must be a whole new journey for you to learn. I can tell it can be very exhausting sometimes. I hope you can get all the support you need. Ahh, and that cafe sounds amazing! I will love to eat there and have all the chocolates! lol Thanks for sharing this with us! :) xx #kcacols

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    1. It can be tough sometimes but it can also be amazing, I just need to remind myself of that on the bad days! Thank you for reading xx

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