Valentine's Day




Valentine's Day is a bit like Marmite, you either love it or hate it.
Personally I'm not its biggest fan. I know that I'm going to sound like a Valentine's scrooge here, but I find the whole thing rather cringe worthy. It's also a shameless bid by the retail industry to con innocent, teenage victims into parting with their pocket money, for an over-priced, ugly teddy-bear holding a 'Be Mine' love heart. You've all had one, admit it.
My dislike of February 14th stems right back to childhood. The farce began when I was around seven years old upon receipt of my first Valentines card. I received in the 'post' a Valentines card, signed with the obligatory ? that you just knew was from your Mum, and your Dad has just nipped downstairs in his dressing gown and chucked it on the doormat. Something he probably should have done before bed last night but forgot.

My next memory takes me back to Junior School, Y5. A crucial age for a pre-pubescent 10 year old girl. An age where you are acutely aware of everyone else's opinion, of what's cool, and more importantly, what's not. I can tell you now, that a huge foot long Gregg's shortbread, decorated, love heart, complete with 'Gift wrap' plonked on your desk for all to see is NOT cool. To a class of 10 year old's this is comedy gold. Making it even more funny was the fact that the sender of said shortbread heart, looked like he'd eaten the entire morning's delivery of Gregg's sausage rolls for his breakfast.

Fast forward to secondary school and another Valentine's day is looming, great. I purchase the obligatory teddy with my £5 a week pocket money and a card, but I put my name in it as my boyfriend will know it's from me, or at least I hope he will. I'm not looking forward to the 'hand-over' of goods but at 12 years old its expected. My boyfriend is off sick for Valentine's day and I'm a little bit pissed off that he'd be ill on such an important day. I've now got to keep the god awful teddy-bear in my rucksack and to be honest with you, I'm not sure he fully deserves it now. He returns to school a few days later. We exchange pleasantries in the corridor and then he start's rifling about in his bag like he's digging for victory. I can't believe he's going to do this here in front of everyone and it's not even bloody Valentine's day anymore. After what seems like forever he pulls out a Step's 'Tragedy' single CD that is definitely pre-owned, probably pinched from his sister's CD collection and, I kid you not, a miniature finger puppet monkey. A miniature finger puppet friggin' monkey? I stuff it into my bag as quickly as possible mumbling 'Thanks'. What I'm thanking him for I have no idea. Thank's for squashing my hard-earned, reputable social status into the ground! He definitely won't be receiving his Valentine's teddy from me, that ship has well and truly sailed.

At 16 my Valentine was a frugal Farmer who parted with his cash sparingly. After 16 years I'm almost warming to the idea of being spoiled. A little older than me it's the first time I've had a working boyfriend with a wage of his own and I've clocked on to the fact that I might do alright out of it this year. He make's the drive over from Glossop in his zooped up M reg banger Ford Fiesta to deliver my gift on Valentine's day. He's quite excited, it's the first time he's had a girlfriend on Valentine's Day. In hindsight, I think it was the first time he'd had a girlfriend at all. He trudges up the driveway with my gift in hand. Practical as ever, he's bought me a potted house plant and he's chuffed to bit's by the fact he's defeated the flower industry and bought me a plant that will last longer than a week for a fraction of the price. Where the hell am I going to put that in my Mother's house? I don't even have a windowsill of my own, my bedroom's got a flamin' Velux!

In contrast to all of the above and way back in our courting day's, my husband acknowledged my love of musicals. He dressed himself in a Tux and serenaded me with a candle lit river of tealights just like in Phantom of the Opera. Had I not been petrified that he was going to propose I would probably have enjoyed this a little more than I did. I know, I sound like a right ungrateful cow but after a failed previous engagement and a very messy breakup, I was so not ready for a ring! It turns out he wasn't planning to propose and had genuinely rehearsed something extremely thoughtful for me. I'm one of those people who can never accept a compliment, and shy away from public display's of affection in embarrassment. Years later when my husband did propose to me, he picked a lovely little spot in the Peace Garden's in Town. It was quite late at night and the tree's were twinkling with pretty fairy lights. It really was a text book proposal spot but I was sensing what he was about to do and I cringed with embarrassment at the impending display. I'd always wanted someone to get down on one knee and propose to me fairy tale style and I probably would never have forgiven him if he hadn't, but on the other hand I was ridiculously uncomfortable. As he bent down on one knee complete with Haribo jelly ring in hand I was desperately willing him to get up as the night time security guard in his high viz jacket wolf whistled and applauded his efforts. Oh the shame!

So yes, I do believe I am a Valentine's Day Scrooge. In my defense, after a vulgar giant shortbread heart, a tragedy CD, finger puppet monkey and a potted plant, rescued slightly by an awkward but thoughtful serenade from my husband, I do believe I have every right to be. Nowadays me and my husband have an agreement in place that we don't 'do' Valentine's Day and save our money for something more important. After all, there shouldn't just be one day a year where you show you're partner that you love them. They should know everyday that you do, without the tacky card or breaking the bank for a single red rose.

Should my husband be reading this post however, here is a lovely link to the Tiffany website 😂

http://www.tiffany.co.uk/jewelry/bracelets/return-to-tiffany-bead-bracelet-GRP10189/return-to-tiffany-bead-bracelet-61941797?omcid=PPC_UK_EN_Shopping_Bracelets_Brand&mkwid=sekb4aRzj


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